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Pun-itive damages too

AuthorMessage
snappytom*

Posts: 4514

new Posted: 11:21AM Oct 18, 2009

Does grinding coffee beans in bed constitute grounds for divorce?

Snappy Snappy Snap..Snap Snap Snap Snap!
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mir77*us

Posts: 460

new Posted: 02:17PM Oct 18, 2009

this just happened, it's true:

my sister was playing a video game. her character blew on a windmill until it began to turn, then she pushed the big machine. after pushing it, she couldn't go where she needed to go, so she tried to blow the windmill again, but a big steel box was in the way! "well," i said, "i guess there's no turning back now!"


---This message was edited on 02:17PM Oct 18, 2009---

Hey Ltstar! What's up Paladin? Hi reggie! Sup, frostyDCH? Hello Hol77! hey kubesh! HEYA GYMBOY09! hiya pokegirl09! i added all my dearest friends! HELLO MY FRIENDS!!! :-)
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EnderofGamesAca

Posts: 519

new Posted: 02:23PM Jan 28, 2010

A short fortune teller escaped from prison, she was a small medium at large.

According to the Institute of Incomplete Research, 7 out of 10 people are
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2475

new Posted: 01:49PM Mar 11, 2010

I could see that one coming.

Apparently, around one in 12 people love astrology to pisces.


"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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wattsofawesome*us

Posts: 71

new Posted: 05:11PM Mar 30, 2010

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Carpe Diem = Seize the day. Carp In Denim = Fish in pants.
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WolfMoon*us

Posts: 127

new Posted: 07:39PM Mar 30, 2010

Tim was over the fence when his dog decided to pay his neighbors a visit

(this is my first pun so it might be sort of bad)
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Mathgeek007tca

Pi Guy
Posts: 1435


new Posted: 03:39PM Jan 13, 2011

A man smashed a window, and stepped on the broken glass. When somebody heard him scream, he said he was in intense pane.

Parents are supposed to "protect" their kids, but there's a real distinction between protection and unrealistically keeping children away from reality. - Life_Sucks --- One of my teasers was featured as the Teaser of the Day! :D Sept. 18 2011 :D YAY!
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Mathgeek007tca

Pi Guy
Posts: 1435


new Posted: 11:46AM Feb 17, 2011

BUMP

Parents are supposed to "protect" their kids, but there's a real distinction between protection and unrealistically keeping children away from reality. - Life_Sucks --- One of my teasers was featured as the Teaser of the Day! :D Sept. 18 2011 :D YAY!
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Mathgeek007tca

Pi Guy
Posts: 1435


new Posted: 10:02AM Sep 8, 2011

*Cough* B2U2M2P *Cough*

Parents are supposed to "protect" their kids, but there's a real distinction between protection and unrealistically keeping children away from reality. - Life_Sucks --- One of my teasers was featured as the Teaser of the Day! :D Sept. 18 2011 :D YAY!
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2475

new Posted: 09:30AM Sep 12, 2011

I was an artist for the military. I used to draw enemy fire.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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anjo29cph

Posts: 25

new Posted: 04:41AM Feb 20, 2012

A Halloween party is in a house, a boy dressed as a mummy asked the boy who is dressed as a monster, " What are you doing with that hotdog?". The monster replied "Goblin' it.". An astronomer in the party is asking how to have a perfect party to hold. A girl replied "Planet.". The author is asking who wrote "The Book of Nothing". The artist said that the author of the book is M.T. Ness. And did you know that it isn't just a halloween party, it's a Pun-tastic party!

I'm a techno-freak.
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SneakattackAus

Posts: 1056

new Posted: 06:10AM Feb 21, 2012

I almost didn't make it into the army because I told corny jokes in boot camp that got me in trouble. Despite my frivolity, I reached the high status of colonel.

What are you looking at?
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2475

new Posted: 08:52AM Nov 26, 2012

I've just finished reading 'The Smallest Garden'. I wouldn't recommend it, it didn't have much of a plot.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2475

new Posted: 09:02AM Sep 19, 2013

I still haven't paid my exorcist and now I'm being threatened with repossession.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 12:52PM Sep 25, 2013

I'm going to open a cafe for senior citizens. A lot of them could really use a new hip joint.

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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SaraGracetus

Posts: 485

new Posted: 09:39PM Sep 26, 2013

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

"I am on a roller coaster that only goes up my friends." -Augustus Water (TFIOS)
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 06:06PM Sep 27, 2013

What do you do when your nutrition club is meeting at your house for the first time and you're afraid they will think you're too simple?

'Vite 'em in. Be complex.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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SaraGracetus

Posts: 485

new Posted: 07:11PM Sep 27, 2013

-I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

"I am on a roller coaster that only goes up my friends." -Augustus Water (TFIOS)
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 01:39PM Sep 28, 2013

Johnny's rule violation was supposed to ground him from using the playground equipment, but his mother let him slide.

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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kitty-cattus

Posts: 225

new Posted: 02:57PM Sep 28, 2013

Was that violetation purple?

"I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but til I try I'll never know." -Wicked
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