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Pun-itive damages too

AuthorMessage
zonahoboAus

Posts: 2354

new Posted: 12:20AM Apr 21, 2007

These made me laugh so hard I thought I was having an apundicites attack!

Join the Zona Force--Dedicated to fun and friendly Braingling!
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19636

new Posted: 07:46AM Apr 21, 2007

The best remedy for that kind of attack is chocolate! Don't you agree ladies!

Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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zonahoboAus

Posts: 2354

new Posted: 03:44PM Apr 21, 2007

Yes, (If I may cross this boundry .. but only for a post! ) I think chocolate covers a multitude of problems, which just seem to melt away, and sweetens the disposition.

Join the Zona Force--Dedicated to fun and friendly Braingling!
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 04:57PM Apr 21, 2007

And whos post might that be Bo
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 12:28AM Apr 22, 2007

There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.

One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.

But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her and get it on with the new girl.

He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.

The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing: "I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"


-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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zonahoboAus

Posts: 2354

new Posted: 01:04AM Apr 22, 2007



I hear most of her washed up on a lowland shore in a foreign country. It seems Lorraine in Spain is mainly on the plain.


Join the Zona Force--Dedicated to fun and friendly Braingling!
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 01:20AM Apr 22, 2007

I recently spent money on detergent to unclog my kitchen sink. It was money down the drain.

-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 06:59AM Apr 22, 2007

In a weird music mood... so...

Strange and/or Unorthodox Method by which Piney achieves her goal...

The Crystal Method...

Roll it up and get ready for action or you'll be left 10 miles back.


Fractions are romantic.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 01:20PM Apr 22, 2007

A frog went to get a loan at a bank.

The loan officer's name was Ms. Patty Stack. When the frog told Ms. Stack that he wanted a loan, she asked if he had colateral.

He showed her something that, to her, looked like a marbel and said "this is what I have for colateral".

She took it to the bank president and said "there's a frog out there who wants a loan, and this is what he has for colateral (showing him the marbel)".

She said "do you know what this is, and should I give him the loan"? The bank president said "why, that's a nic nac, Patty Stack; give that frog a loan".


-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 07:47AM Apr 23, 2007

You left out the best part!!!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She sees the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant."I mean, what in the world is this?"









You're gonna love this






(its a real treat)





The bank manager looks back at her and says...







"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."


Fractions are romantic.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 08:03AM Apr 23, 2007




Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.


-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19636

new Posted: 08:07AM Apr 23, 2007

Some are also out of focus all the time!

Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 08:08AM Apr 23, 2007

LOVE IT!

Once you've scene one picture of a star you've scene 'em all.


Fractions are romantic.
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19636

new Posted: 08:10AM Apr 23, 2007

Not meaning to sound prejudice, but I think all "stars" look alike . . ..

Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 08:16AM Apr 23, 2007

"Brittany attacks Paparazzi Photographer"

Can you sue for being Star Struck??


Fractions are romantic.
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19636

new Posted: 08:32AM Apr 23, 2007

Was that a falling star I just saw!

Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 08:40AM Apr 23, 2007

She may have Fallen, but Time Is On Her Side...
She'll beat her demons eventually.

[had to have seen that movie to get it I think]


Fractions are romantic.
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2475

new Posted: 07:45AM Apr 25, 2007

Of course, a trip to the stars would be out of this world. I've looked into having my birthday party in space, but as a venue it lacked atmosphere.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 08:11AM Apr 25, 2007

I hear Venus really has an air about her...
just sucks the wind right out of a fella's lungs and makes him go all bug eyed!?


Fractions are romantic.
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reddragonAus

Posts: 4503

new Posted: 11:58AM Apr 25, 2007

Go ahead, keep talking about planets and stars, just give me a little space.

Some shun sunshine. Do you shun sunshine?
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