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Pun-itive damages too

AuthorMessage
FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2474

new Posted: 12:16PM Apr 25, 2007

When Yuri Gagarin died, the Russian press printed an orbituary as a tribute to his achievements.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 02:15PM Apr 26, 2007

These space puns are killin' me cos mos of 'em are better than mine.
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19630

new Posted: 03:29PM Apr 26, 2007

Ohhh guy - you just want to be Guy Williams, the father in Lost in Space!

Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 06:17AM Apr 27, 2007

Astronaut 1: It's raining cats and dogs.

Astronaut 2: Seriously?


Fractions are romantic.
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2474

new Posted: 07:19AM Apr 27, 2007

Britain pulled out of the space race in the early 60s, due to the astronomical costs.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2474

new Posted: 07:40AM Apr 27, 2007

Sorry to double post, but this just reported:

***NEWSFLASH***REUTERS***260407***1937HRS***

NASA flight carrying Professor Stephen Hawking involved in near miss incident with private jet. Hawking is said to have been unaware of the gravity of the situation.


"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 01:23PM Apr 27, 2007

well he should At mos sphere the impact
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2474

new Posted: 01:52AM Apr 28, 2007

I say if you break the laws of gravity, you should at least receive a suspended sentence.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19630

new Posted: 08:50AM Apr 28, 2007



Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2474

new Posted: 05:07AM Apr 29, 2007

I was thinking how great it would be to invite an astronaut to dinner. Talk about their adventures and whatnot.

So I wrote to NASA to see if anyone was interested.

Turns out they prefer to do launch.


"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 11:33AM Apr 30, 2007

They also don't like to drink and drive so they take the shuttle
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2474

new Posted: 04:39AM May 1, 2007

Traditionally, on January 1st each year, astronauts in orbit will make a New Year's revolution.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 11:04PM May 1, 2007

To ensure that astronauts don't get sick while in space they are always given booster shots.
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FreddyPharkasAen

Posts: 2474

new Posted: 03:56AM May 2, 2007

Astronauts aren't very musical. They only know two notes, and sing using the sol-la system.

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 04:36PM May 6, 2007

I heard they kicked pluto out as a planet cause the solar system was going to the dogs
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19630

new Posted: 05:05PM May 6, 2007

I heard Pluto got kicked out as a planet cause he slipped the other planets a Mickey!

Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 05:19PM May 6, 2007

Love It!

Since we're on cartoons... back to TPK's fav joke...

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet??



--'Cuz he was looking for Pooh.


Fractions are romantic.
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 05:51PM May 6, 2007

Eeyore was shakin down the rest of his pals in a protection racket.He was the hundred acre hood.
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snowmonsterAusmod

Posts: 19630

new Posted: 10:09PM May 6, 2007

What does Winnie the Poo and Kermit the Frog have in common?

(I know I know . . . it's lame, and some know it, but I just had to do it . . . )

They have the same middle name!


Take all sorrow out of life and you take away all richness, and depth, and tenderness. The capacity of sorrow belongs to our grandeur. It is the furnace that melts hearts together in love. In loving memory of my dear friend Guy - take care Goobs . .
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teddybairAus

Posts: 1316

new Posted: 10:37PM May 6, 2007

Mickey and Goofy walked into a bar. Donald ducked.

(Okay, so that was really lame, but this looks like a lot of fun! )
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