Oh No! You Are Not Going to Lie!
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CaIceDevil 
Posts: 287
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 Posted: 05:28AM Nov 14, 2009 |
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Hi everyone!
Of course there always have been times when we were very curious of something and really wanted to know the thing that you wanted to know. There are always some ways on how we could work on getting to know what we want to know, but sometimes doesn't the world become predictable using only one strategy of how to convince someone on how to tell the truth?
The reason why I popped up this topis is because I want to know more things on how to convince people to tell the truth. Of couse I know lots of ways that I learned in my experiences but Psychology is not much of my thing.
I would really appreciate any help and tips you'd give.
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. |
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Shadows 
Posts: 4173
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Posted: 12:20PM Nov 14, 2009 |
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First of all, it helps to know when someone is lying. I think there's a wikiHow article on it.
I usually just ask, and then look at the person with a blank expression. If they lie, I make my eyes look just a bit skeptical. A lot of people are, um, scared of me, so they end up telling me. My friends say it has something to do with the way I look at people. After they tell me, I'd grin and say something like, "That wasn't so hard, huh?", and then change the subject.
If that doesn't work, then I'd beg them to tell me. Most of the time, that doesn't work; my personality doesn't suit begging very well. It's worth a try, though.
After that, I'd pretend I lost interest in knowing whatever it is. After a few days, I'd casually mention it, and ask again in a tone of voice that implies that I don't really care. If they still don't tell me, then I'd give up - or ask someone else.
Walk away as if I don't care. |
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QueenBee23
Posts: 5
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Posted: 06:07PM Nov 14, 2009 |
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There is a lot to be said about body language, and I'm always checking out a person when they are talking to me .If I'm on the phone I listen to the pitch of the voice for changes .One thing that i can't stand is a liar so most time's if know a person is lying i call them on it, it's really no reason to lie
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beetle22 
Posts: 861
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Posted: 10:54PM Nov 15, 2009 |
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Well, personally, I'm a straight up-and-down sorta person. I am honest and I think people respect that I'm honest and then they are honest with me.
They know that I'm going to be more dissapointed if they lie, because I've shown them the courtesy of being truthful myself.
So, for instance, I work with a very close friend, and I'm her boss. She hasn't been working properly, and I needed to have a meeting with her. I explained why i needed to talk with her, and how I saw things, and I told her that we were having a conversation - not just me telling her stuff, but a chance for her to tell me stuff and for us to work out the problem. I told her that my notes from the meeting would go to the boss, so it was a good chance for her to say what she thought and make sure her views were on the paper going to the boss.
We had a great conversation - we explained to eachother how we were feeling and where we were each coming from, and left the meeting feeling much better. I was able to give her pointers, and she gave me pointers, and while tears were shed it was kind of in relief.
I think that because I was straight up with her (not going around the issue), she felt she could be straight up with me.
I do this with my family and partner too. If I'm angry or hurt by something, I'm gonna say it, and I'll say why I think what I think. It saves a lot of hassle with people getting confused or misinterpreting things, and because I'm honest when I talk they know I'm not making things up etc. They also know that I respect honesty.
The hardest thing about my system is that if someone tells you the truth and you really don't want to hear it (in which case, I usually say "can you just tell me what I WANT to hear at the moment" - again, being honest with how I feel!)...
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grilledcheese
Posts: 6441
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Posted: 11:40PM Nov 15, 2009 |
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I usually can tell when someone is lying by the look on their face. Also, gut feelings. My gut feelings are 99% right.
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chastain101
Posts: 12
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Posted: 11:03PM Nov 16, 2009 |
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i just look strieght into their eyes. if they are lying, they'll burst out laughing in my experience. the reason they laugh, i think, is to change the subject 
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. |
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Scorefire
Posts: 35
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Posted: 03:00AM Nov 17, 2009 |
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grilledcheese wrote: I usually can tell when someone is lying by the look on their face. Also, gut feelings. My gut feelings are 99% right. chastain101 wrote: i just look strieght into their eyes. if they are lying, they'll burst out laughing in my experience. the reason they laugh, i think, is to change the subject
---This message was edited on 03:01AM Nov 17, 2009---
The people here are too nice! *sob* |
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restive
Posts: 7
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Posted: 03:36PM Nov 18, 2009 |
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Hmmm... Well those are all good ways of telling if someone's lying. But people who lie habitually and get away with it typically insert a little truth to make it believable. They may give you an honest answer but avoid the heart of the question. For example, if you were to ask where someone was the other day, they could answer "Home" and this may be slightly true. But the could have been home for an hour or two and spent the entire day out and about.
 But CalceDevil wanted to know how to get people to tell the truth. Lead by example. That's always the best solution. Most people have a conscience. They don't want to feel guilty. 
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CaIceDevil
Posts: 287
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Posted: 07:23AM Nov 19, 2009 |
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I appreciate all of your tips and suggestions.
Life is really an adventure, I already have faced lots of kinds of lies, liars, and ways to lie. I learn from those experiences. It's great to have you people give suggestions, but unfortunately, in how my life is standing on, they are like they style of the 50s. What I meant was, I know loopholes on how to get past on they way you try to lie. I am saying this with no negative intention.
Most people consider it hard not to laugh when two people look eye to eye when they are lying. Only most people, not all. Some are professional liars, and can stand through the eye to eye contact without even any signs that they are going to laugh.
If that's the case, why not try just to let people look at you eye to eye? If it makes most people lying laugh, if they are lying, why would they allow themselves to have a direct eye contact with you? That works on those who are not good liars.
That's just a little thing I could suggest here for now. Anybody else have something to say?
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. |
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grilledcheese
Posts: 6441
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Posted: 02:54PM Nov 19, 2009 |
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Scorefire wrote: grilledcheese wrote: I usually can tell when someone is lying by the look on their face. Also, gut feelings. My gut feelings are 99% right. chastain101 wrote: i just look strieght into their eyes. if they are lying, they'll burst out laughing in my experience. the reason they laugh, i think, is to change the subject
Those are good ideas, but what if I said to you that I have a sister? Do you think you could tell if I'm lying just by reading the text?
Not simple "lies" such as that, but I've actually caught a few friends on here in a lie. Sometimes I can't tell, but the gut feeling is there.
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