Braingle: Forums: The Human Mind

Public Forums >> The Human Mind >>

Forum Rules View Watchlist Post Reply

Skip to Page: 1 2 Next

What makes us trust someone?

Author

Message

HarryPutter

Posts: 2932

Posted: 12:51AM Apr 8, 2011

I think the answer is consistency.

Think of it this way....
You have a criminal who always lies and cheats in one corner, and the average Joe in another.

Technically, in my opinion, you can trust the criminal more. The criminal is someone who always lies, cheats, and does wrong - they're predictable. You know exactly how they're going to act, react, or treat people.
The avg Joe, on the other hand, is random. You can never know what to expect from them - one day they might be your crying shoulder, and the next they could be your worst nightmare.

Is it the consistency and predictability in a person that makes us trust someone?

I also noticed this pattern in games like WTB/WWG - the ones people tend to rally around are the ones who "stay in character" and maintain their disposition throughout games. Whereas the ones that are inconsistent - sometimes active, sometimes inactive, sometimes aggressive, sometimes reserved, etc. are the ones usually targeted or suspected.

So what makes us trust someone? Is it simply their consistency and predictability?

---This message was edited on 12:53AM Apr 8, 2011---

If you're interested in teaching or learning something, check out the Braingle Academy TB. Request link: http://tinyurl.com/q3zpgmz (still in the BETA stage)

View Profile Send PM Visit Wiki

rolugomi

Posts: 391

Posted: 07:14AM Apr 8, 2011

Me, Im dishonest. And the dishonest ones you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest one's you've got to watch out for. You never know when they're going to do something incredibly...stupid.

So, consistency?

I mostly agree with putter, but the quote above is as interesting as it is funny. Criminals trust each other sometimes, right? But they know the're criminals. What does this mean?

You came back :)

View Profile Send PM

LogicalRoger

Posts: 2444

Posted: 06:46PM Apr 8, 2011

Well in WTB/TWG, consistency is only preferred because one does not think there is a reason for a lack of consistency unless you are trying several different tactics. Hidden tactics are generally suspicious in those games as unless you are the seer (unlikely) secrets are seen as wolfish. Of course, people act in a silly manner often, whether trustworthy or not, wolf or human, so that's one thing they're not really looking at. But since humans don't generally have to change their tactics to outsmart the others, it is a better bet to go with the ones who change, especially if the change seems opportunistic.

Can you always trust dishonest people to be dishonest though? Unless they're a compulsive liar, even untrustworthy crooks will have their circumstances in which they act kindly or do something you wouldn't expect them to do. I think you're correct about the "average Joe" being very fickle in terms of trust, but everyone is, including those who are considered untrustworthy.

The criminal is someone who always lies, cheats, and does wrong - they're predictable.

I don't agree with this point. Especially depending on the circumstances of why they are a criminal. I don't know enough about the "criminal mind", I'm not sure anyone truly does but I'll assume some know much better than I, but unless a person has some sort of psychological malfunction that forces them to do these heinous acts, then I assume they are every much as capable of changing as any "normal person".

Assuming they are dead-set on crime is like assuming a corresponding "honourable" character will never do wrong, which you seem to disagree with.

I'd say you trust someone if they have been trustworthy in the past. People do change, of course, but if they have a history of not doing you wrong, you'll likely think they will continue in this manner until they do end up screwing you over. That just makes sense. We assume consistency, but that doesn't mean it actually exists anywhere.

As to why people trust liars when they have mistreated them in the past. That's more difficult, and I wouldn't say it's consistency. I don't think anyone wants to trust someone who we know will do us wrong. That just doesn't make sense, no matter how sure that they'll screw us over we are. I think it has to do with, ironically, our knowledge that people act differently. We assume that since people behaviour differently, this time this criminal might act kindly. And hey, they might. But in many cases, it's probably the same thing that makes humankind both equally endearing and pitiful: hope.

When something is consistently good, we hope it continues. When something has been consistently bad we hope our luck will change. People who are duped are just too trusting, to be honest. [And I am being honest, you can trust me on that]

---This message was edited on 06:49PM Apr 8, 2011---

View Profile Send PM

Mathgeek007

Pi Guy
Posts: 1431

Posted: 08:27AM Apr 10, 2011

^ What he said.

Parents are supposed to "protect" their kids, but there's a real distinction between protection and unrealistically keeping children away from reality. - Life_Sucks --- One of my teasers was featured as the Teaser of the Day! :D Sept. 18 2011 :D YAY!

View Profile Send PM Visit Wiki

jokhoo

Posts: 560

Posted: 02:45PM May 21, 2011

what make us trust someone:
i am my class monitor, in university here...and there is well a lot of people from different countries...and clearly none of them trust each other.. i can feel it everytime am trying to address them!

i have had many friends online...been chatting with them a lot...a lot of them cannot reach a point where u give importance to them, while there are some whom u enjoy chatting with...

lately though...i fell for someone, and sth happened and maybe unknowingly she said i am a liar among other things... and after a second it hit me that perhaps.. the person i believe the most... doesn't trust me! how should i react? what should i do? i got lost.. n in the events of other things... i closed myself and it goes even worst whereby in the university each got there own life, people will call me day and night, everytime to ask for help, but yet coming to trust, they won't trust!

to be frank i got no choice! because am not playing some sort of game...i will trust and if in return i get hurt... hah well i atleast i tried not to be fake and the little i did, i have learned, will be the best memories...

anyone who has never made a mistake has never really tried anything new

View Profile Send PM

snappytom

Posts: 4351

Posted: 09:43AM Oct 7, 2011

That's very insightful, jokhoo....That last paragraph.

Snappy Snappy Snap..Snap Snap Snap Snap!

View Profile Send PM

iforgotbraingle

Posts: 4873

Posted: 12:11PM Oct 7, 2011

Neurons,

Well then.

View Profile Send PM

lamarwisneski

Posts: 5

Posted: 04:30AM Oct 28, 2011

Well trust is always depend on what type of relation you have between two people...If they are in relationship than trust matters...Trust should be always there in every type of relations,whether it can be of boss and employee,servant and master,wife and husband,parents and children,between siblings and other...Once you broked anyone's trust than that person is unable to trust you again...

View Profile Send PM

RGW4

Posts: 1084

Posted: 08:23PM Oct 28, 2011

I am not sure a person can never trust a person again once they break that trust; but it definately will be difficult. A lot has to do with how and why that trust was broken.

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. -Albert Einstein-

View Profile Send PM Visit Wiki

charlottes-odd

Posts: 183

Posted: 12:30PM Aug 28, 2012

Its so difficult to know who to trust. Personally ive had so many people who i have trusted throughout my life who have turned out to be the most horrible people.

For example, my first boyfriend. Right from the start people were warning me about him but i didnt listen. I knew he was dodgy (does drugs, sleeps around, uses girls) but because i knew this, and i thought he was different with me, i trusted him. He later ended using me and leaving as soon as he got what he wanted, and the next couple of months for me was hell.

My last boyfriend was the opposite to my first. He didnt do drugs, didnt smoke, was a virgin and was general just the "good boy" type. It started great, telling me he'd never leave me and loved me, and i trusted him. But he left me as soon as his ex came into his head, and started placing the blame on me for stuff i have never done. I can never trust him again and hes now out of my life now completely.

Ive also got a mate that ive trusted for so long. But shes started changing recently, not supporting me, not even trying to help me when i need it, and sometimes seems to think shes better than me. Because of her change of character some of the trust has gone.
Ive gpt another mate who i still trust today as much

Heartbreak is where creativity is born

View Profile Send PM

charlottes-odd

Posts: 183

Posted: 12:43PM Aug 28, 2012

Ive got another mate who i trust today as much as the day i first met her. No matter whats happened, in her life and mine, she has stayed the same girl that i met in high school, she has remained true to herself, and i love and respect her for that. Because of that the trust is still as strong today as it always has been.

I think thats what makes you trust someone, it doesnt matter if theyre the good type or bad guy, it matters weither they treat you right and you can always know they wont change in a bad way

Heartbreak is where creativity is born

View Profile Send PM

Rachel00

Posts: 29

Posted: 03:58PM Aug 28, 2012

you trust someone when they prove they can b trusted.
my question is, when someone breaks your trust entirely, and asks for it back, do you give it to them??

I see that you are confused.......my work here is done.

View Profile Send PM Visit Wiki

charlottes-odd

Posts: 183

Posted: 04:00AM Aug 29, 2012

I think it depends on the circumstance and the person really. If someone can regain your trust and you know you can trust them again then yes. But you do risk getting hurt again. About 6 months after me and my first boyfriend split, he got back in touch with me, saying he still loved me and wanted to see me and that he missed me, and i decided to see him. I trusted him again, but then i found out he actually got engaged to another girl while he was trying to get me back. So i should have never given him my trust again. Luckily hes out my life now and im a lot happier without him

Sorry i keep saying about boyfriends by the way everyone, im just answering this question from my own experiences

Heartbreak is where creativity is born

View Profile Send PM

Rachel00

Posts: 29

Posted: 08:36AM Aug 29, 2012

Thanks charlottes-odd.

I see that you are confused.......my work here is done.

View Profile Send PM Visit Wiki

snappytom

Posts: 4351

Posted: 03:32AM Aug 30, 2012