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Pun-itive damages too

AuthorMessage
guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 11:45PM Mar 28, 2007

Easters on the way and the kids have got me pulling my hare out.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 11:48PM Mar 28, 2007

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. So the farmer says "Oh, shoot! It went in one ear and out the udder"...

-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 12:26AM Mar 29, 2007

Skippy(can I call you that) that was hilarious.almost like an act of bovine intervention.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 12:48AM Mar 29, 2007

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.



yes, feel free to call me Skippy.


---This message was edited on 12:49AM Mar 29, 2007---

-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 10:14AM Mar 29, 2007

two friends were talking about their pet lizards .the one said" my lizard is green." the other said "my lizard is Jewish"
"What do you mean its Jewish, a lizard can't be jewish." "Sure it can I havana-gila monster"
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PineappleMamaAus

Posts: 13848

new Posted: 10:24AM Mar 29, 2007

Sebastian and his wife were arguing... she accused him of being a hermit... and he called her a crab.

OY Disney Puns... I need help.


Fractions are romantic.
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 12:28PM Mar 29, 2007

Maybe they were arguing cause he was suffering from a repitle dysfunction
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 05:16PM Mar 30, 2007

Christopher Robin wanted to buy a gun but he was turned down.The authorities thought he might get Tigger happy.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 05:36PM Mar 30, 2007

When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.

-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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zonahoboAus

Posts: 2354

new Posted: 10:35PM Mar 30, 2007

Coming up with a good animal pun was a bit of a stretch so I decided to just python it. (...sorry, but I couldn't resist!)

Join the Zona Force--Dedicated to fun and friendly Braingling!
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 10:59PM Mar 30, 2007

I know what you mean Bo if you aren't careful the other folks here will kick your asp.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 11:30PM Mar 30, 2007

A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band.

Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."


-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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reddragonAus

Posts: 4503

new Posted: 01:01AM Mar 31, 2007

Oh, good one! Because when the actress became aware that her hair was turning gray she thought she'd dye.

Some shun sunshine. Do you shun sunshine?
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 01:44PM Mar 31, 2007

Just the thought of being thrown overboard woulg make me keel over.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 03:06PM Mar 31, 2007

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the bible that man should do the coffee."

The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him the top of several pages, that it indeed says........"HEBREWS"


-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 12:08AM Apr 1, 2007

it strikes me that for breakfast buddist monks probably eat ooooommmmm-lettes.
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locked_in_hellAus

Posts: 6013

new Posted: 12:44AM Apr 1, 2007

Which president was least guilty? Lincoln. He is in a cent.

-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night*
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guylad

Posts: 1846

new Posted: 07:07PM Apr 1, 2007

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bhssoccer23Aus

Posts: 508

new Posted: 08:31PM Apr 2, 2007

Q:What did Della wear to the football game?
A:Her new jersey.


(R.I.P.Sherrod Cooks AKA Ducky: April 30th, 2007) You will always be loved and missed.
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reddragonAus

Posts: 4503

new Posted: 09:28PM Apr 2, 2007

Sharon knew the kids in the neighborhood would never leave her alone when she married John Candy.

Some shun sunshine. Do you shun sunshine?
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