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BRAINGLE FAMILY ROOM-46

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wiser_now

Posts: 351

Posted: 09:29PM May 12, 2011

I'm frustrated. Just wrote a great blog post today and the site decides to go down - my blog site is still up, but the new post is nowhere to be found. I seriously hope it isn't lost forever, just awaiting whatever "maintenance" thing they are doing.

And how many times do I need to ask/tell my kids to clean up before I'm justified in yelling? That's a question I ask myself every day.

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NothingToLose

Posts: 51

Posted: 02:03PM May 13, 2011

BrokenHearted wrote:

One of my best mates has proved to not be much of a friend. I asked out a boy I really like and got rejected, so she's taken her turn and started proper flirting with him!

Ouch. I know how you feel. Last year, I went on a couple of dates with a longtime friend of mine, We got along great, but there just wasn't a relationship feeling there, despite the fact that we both liked each other at the time. (Also we both liked each other at other various points throughout our friendship, which neither of us actually knew at the relevant time.)

So while we were still talking and seeing if we could fall into a relationship, he came over to my dorm one day just to hang out.
He met my roommate... and then started dating her.

Mind you, I still REALLY liked him at the time.
I tried everything I could to convince them that a relationship between the two of them wouldn't work out, but they both just assumed I was jealous and didn't listen to me.

Of course, by then I was over being jealous. I legitimately felt that their relationship was a bad idea, and I didn't want either of them to get hurt.
But nope. No one ever listens to me, despite the fact that nearly ALL of the advice I've given people in the recent past ends up being good. Then again, my advice is practical, and who wants practicality?!

It was also at this point that my roommate (now best friend) and I stopped being able to have boyfriends at the same time.
If one of us was in a relationship and the other one started dating someone, one or both relationships would inevitably fall apart.
It's like the universe was telling us, "Hey, don't be stupid and let a boy mess up your friendship. Dating's not that important, anyway."
She called it "our curse."

My friend is the kind of person who NEEDS a boyfriend, and I was a point in my life where I didn't really care either way.
I just happened to meet an awesome guy, and we started dating. Meanwhile, her then-current relationship with the guy she stole from me was falling apart.
After a couple failed dating attempts on her part (after all, I was in a stable relationship by this point. It wasn't going to fail. So, according the "the curse," her dates wouldn't work out), she decided that the curse would break if we both dated guys with the same first name.

She just happened to meet three different guys with the same first name as my boyfriend at the same general time, which she took as a sign. She went out with each of them until she decided which one she liked best.
So now she's in a steady relationship, too. Of course, both of our boyfriends have the same name and she refuses to acknowledge since mine came first HE gets to use it, but for the most part, she's happy with the results.

Meanwhile, I'm just laughing at how silly girls can be sometimes.

Also, I forgot the point of telling this story...

carpe diem quam nimium credula postero

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BrokenHearted

Posts: 142

Posted: 04:44PM May 13, 2011

Hmm. Interesting story, no offence it wasn't much help, but nice to hear.

Ugh. I can't believe the nerve of this girl. She told my best friend to keep asking the boy if he liked her and would ask her out. It's hurting. A lot. Because he now knows she likes him (because of the questions), she blames my best friend.

She's getting incredibly obnoxious. Then, she told my best friend, Jenn, that she had to tell the boy, Parker, that they would make a cute couple. I don't believe this.

Love sucks.

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shawneeo

Posts: 7951

Posted: 03:27PM May 15, 2011

Oh my! I can't even think about these dating/friendship/romance issues! It makes me half-crazy just to read about them! I don't want any of that!

If someone is doing really cruddy stuff, no matter who you thought they were before, my advice after long experience (because I'm way older than most of you, although I know that doesn't mean I'm any wiser), is to totally cut them off and whoever is in on it with them. If a friend steals your boyfriend, then cut them both off and find people who won't do that. There are always people who have the same values you do. I know it's not that easy, but, the idea is that they have a different ethical code than you do and you can't change them. If what's happening is hurting YOU, then that's your cue to get out.

Thanks Vlerma for your concern! My subsidy people are the ones who set this apartment up, so they are right in the middle of it! Not that that is making anything happen any faster, but they know!And, you are totally correct... if I wasn't there and they didn't know for over a month, they would kick me off the program. And it's difficult to keep communications going when you are not in your regular setting. My stuff was all put in the basement of my new place, so it will only have to be moved from there to the first/ground floor. And, the landlord said he will have the stuff moved for me! Idk if that means he's hiring someone or what, but, I was very glad to hear that! They are doing the eviction by the book... I suppose that's a good thing.

Life... can be so many things... how can anyone ever think they are RIGHT? HAhahahahahahaha!!!!!

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NothingToLose

Posts: 51

Posted: 02:17AM May 16, 2011

Do you guys mind if I rant?
I need to rant. I don't mind if y'all ignore it, though. I just need to get it said.

So, I have this job right now. The job itself is pretty nice. It's at least not something to complain about. Most of my coworkers are great, the environment is nice, and the company supports values that I believe in.

I've been there for almost a year now, and as far as I can tell, I'm an excellent employee. I get my work done well and done on time, I help customers with an extreme level of knowledge (no, seriously. I've had multiple coworkers tell me that they like having me stationed near them because I know the inventory better than the computer.), I'm NEVER late, and I almost never call in sick.

Yet, for some reason, they keep scheduling me for less than 10 hours a week while almost EVERYBODY else (including the people who are ALWAYS late and/or calling in sick) are getting close to 20 hours.
It's beyond frustrating, because every time I ask a manager about it, they always tell me that I shouldn't "take it personally; it's all computer generated," and I know this is false because I've been there while they were making the weekly schedule before, and it DEFINITELY requires user input. (Such as who gets how many hours and if there are any specific days a given employee should work.) Hmm...
Fishy.

So lately I've been applying to all sorts of other jobs, so that I can take on a second one so that I can actually afford to eat next year.
And I actually got a call for an interview tonight! Not only that, but it's actually from the people I would MOST like to work for!
They are interviewing two nights this week. Except that those two nights happen to be the same nights that I'm working my current job this week. The ONLY two nights I'm working my current job this week.

The interviews are from 5:15 PM to 11:30 PM, and I work from 6-11. There's really no realistic way I can make it to the interview and not miss work, but I need to find a way to make it work because I NEED a different/second job.
So, basically, I need to invent a teleportation machine before Tuesday night, because I'm supposed to interview "sometime between 5:15 and 6" and I need to be on the complete opposite side of town at 6...

Why oh WHY couldn't they have been doing interviews on Wednesday night instead?

For those that are older and wiser, does life actually improve with age, or is this an accurate representation of working life?

carpe diem quam nimium credula postero

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snappytom

Posts: 4351

Posted: 06:09AM May 16, 2011

Nah..basically, welcome to working life.

You are going to come up with an excuse not to be at work when you have to be at the interview....
The people you work for take you for granted. You have to look after yourself BUT don't put what you have at jeopardy.
Sometimes you are better off keeping what little you have until you jump up in the world.

My two cents worth!

Snappy Snappy Snap..Snap Snap Snap Snap!

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beetle22

Posts: 1327

Posted: 09:36PM May 16, 2011

I agree with snappy - welcome to ADULT life.

Theres always someway you could improve life, and most often there is always something standing inbetween you and your ability to reach your goal. Its just life.

If your work schedules are done manually, and you think you're a good employee but its not being reflected in how many shifts you get, perhaps ask your superior for a meeting to discuss how your job is going. Don't look for compliments, ask for a critique - what could you be doing better, is there any area they want you to focus mnore on.... that way you will know what they actually think of you and you can work towards improving yourself in the areas they want to see improvement in. Hopefully that way they'll be more willing to give you shifts.

But honestly - no job is perfect. There is ALWAYS something that you aren't going to like. Just make sure to suit yourself as much as possible. If you want to go to this interview but it clashes with your work, tell them you have a doctors appointment, or make up an excuse so you can be late...

check out my embroidery blog at www.sewnbysaliba.com

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NothingToLose

Posts: 51

Posted: 01:13AM May 18, 2011

I ended up skipping work to go to the interview.

Unfortunately, the interview didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped it would.

I mean, there's still a chance I'll get the job; they're hiring a bunch of people.
But they interviewed way more students than they'll end up employing, so it's also likely that they'll NOT hire me.

I'll find out on Friday.
I kind of don't want to know. The suspense in this case is better than the resolution of knowing.
Man, I'm weird...

But I certainly have enough to focus on before Friday, so hopefully I won't spend TOO much time reliving the interview in my head and regretting giving certain answers.

But hey, who knows. I think they liked me as a person, so maybe that'll work out in my favor.
They seemed to find my funny, and I've found that that's often beneficial in almost all situations.

So...

carpe diem quam nimium credula postero

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snappytom

Posts: 4351

Posted: 03:36AM May 18, 2011

Good luck!

Hope it all works out well for you!

Snappy Snappy Snap..Snap Snap Snap Snap!

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wiser_now

Posts: 351

Posted: 11:24AM May 18, 2011

It's been many years since I've had to interview. I don't think any of my interviews ever went really well. I did end up with a few jobs, despite awkward interviews. That's something I may have to brush up my skills if I decide to go back to work at some point.

Truth is, I'm so looking forward to having my youngest in school, I don't think I'll rush into any old job. I've had "jobs" - if I do go back to full time work, I'd want it to be something I really enjoy doing.

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browneyes79

Posts: 9

Posted: 03:40PM May 18, 2011

I've always found it hard to tell how an interview went. For one that I thought went badly, I got asked back for a 2nd interview and got the job. I later found out that the interviewer thought I did well! So, maybe it went better than you thought.

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snappytom

Posts: 4351

Posted: 04:56AM May 19, 2011

Just be yourself...that's the best advice.
Because if you get the job, they'll find you out if you were not being yourself and you will not be happy either.

Snappy Snappy Snap..Snap Snap Snap Snap!

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vlerma

Grayma V
Posts: 3333

Posted: 04:10PM May 19, 2011

I was one of the lucky ones-was interviewed and hired on the spot, on every job I ever applied for. I never went back for a 2nd interview. However I do know today with so many people out of work the labor force has a chance to sort of take their pick.

One thing I did notice just in passing. I have been an employee, but I have also been the boss who did the hiring and firing. I had an exceptionally good employee who could do anything I asked of her - she was on time, worked wonderfully with the customers,,,, was always helpful with her fellow employees, but I noticed as I sat in my office and the chit chat at the water cooler between employees, when they really didn't know I was listening in was thus: Yes, she does a good job and is nice to the customers, but I sure wish she would get done with her attitude that she knows it all. I mean I don't have to be told every time I am helping a customer to smile and say thank you for shopping, etc. I know all of that and I do it. If I get a frown on my face that a customer might see and complain about, it is because miss busybody is back there behind my shoulder, psst, be sure to smile and say thank you. Lord, I really hate working with her.

I'm not saying this is the case, but your confidence is fine but don't lord it over others. Perhaps you are a person with an A personality where your knowledge would be better placed in a supervisory capacity, given by the company, not just assumed because you believe the boss is totally pleased with your work. Beetle's suggestion of asking for some time to get feedback from your boss on how they perceive your abilities, a critique of sorts. Sometimes these are rather hard to swallow, but it can only help you in the long run.

The sound of the wild, but if there is no one there, does anyone hear their howls?

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NothingToLose

Posts: 51

Posted: 05:09PM May 19, 2011

Thanks for the feedback, vlerma.

I understand that attitude is a huge part of having a job. I also understand that I can't just expect to be given things and that I need to actually go after them. It's just so frustrating because my direct supervisor is NEVER THERE, so when I ask someone else about my concerns, the message NEVER gets passed on.

The one thing I haven't tried yet is talking to HR instead of my manager.
The HR rep is there way more often, and while she kind of intimidates me, I do think she'll at least give me direct feedback.

I suspected that my lack of hours might have been due to a somewhat limited availability, since I have class in the afternoons, but I've just been told that I have GOOD availability, so my availability is likely not the problem.

The worst part, I think, is that my mom's cousin is second- or third-in-command in the HR department in the ENTIRE company.
Nobody at my store knows this, because I don't want to tell them. In fact, I didn't even know myself until a couple of months ago. She keeps offering to contact my store on my behalf to get direct answers for me, but I don't want to be the person who pulls strings in order to get my way, because everybody hates that person.
I want to be able to solve my own problems and address my problems directly, but I can only be pushed aside so many times before I lose all my self-assurance.

Then again, that seems to be their method at my store. When the employees are new, give them exactly the numbers of hours they want. Treat them really well. Make them want to stay. After 6 months or so, start ignoring them and making them lose faith that they're a valuable asset to the company. Make them simply compliant, rather than passionate. Let this continue for about 6 months, cut their hours even more, and then wait for the day when the quit.
Hire a bunch of new employees and repeat.

It's really sad that this has become my view of most institutions. It's like people are simply recyclable laborers and not actually individuals. I'm sure this isn't the case, but it seems so much easy to blame society as a whole rather than something more concrete and close to yourself.

carpe diem quam nimium credula postero

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snappytom

Posts: 4351

Posted: 02:25AM May 20, 2011

Yeah you are right.
As you begin work they pay a smidge....as you get older they have to pay you more...thus they get rid of YOU and get a whole bunch of CHEAPER to employ young people. That has always been the case.

You have to make yourself irreplaceable...

Snappy Snappy Snap..Snap Snap Snap Snap!

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vlerma

Grayma V
Posts: 3333

Posted: 08:12AM May 21, 2011

You are so right Snappy. I want so badly to suggest where Nothing to Loose might be working because it sounds so familiar to a place I have heard so many complaints about, but I won't. No sense in getting a liable suit going. A lot of franchise places hire new help, giving them promises of so much and like Snappy said lead the employee on to get them really interested in the job, give them raises, etc. But then all of a sudden it is time to cut overhead expenses, and unfortunately that trained somewhat well paid employee will be among the first to go - they won't out and out fire you because then they may have to pay unemployment, but they will make your working life there so miserable you will seek another position some where else. And they can start all over with a new bunch of employees that they pay much less, thereby cutting their overhead. Not fair, but unfortunately that is just the way the old world whirls.

When I held an assessor's certificate to assess property, working for the Assessor's Office, I was fully trained for any position in the entire office, I helped our computer programmer set up the system for the motor vehicles that the entire state of Nebraska now operates on, not only for titling and taxation, but also for law enforcement and granted after 24 years my wages were starting to look pretty nice. But I started that job at $300 gross a month! And I had 3 kids to raise on that! Our Board of Supervisors decided that the salary budget needed to be cut so of course they started looking at the highest paid employees. Thankfully my boss went to bat for me, but I will never forget one man's remark at the Board meeting, in front of me. "We could hire three people off the street for what you are earning." That may have been the truth, but who is going to do what - none of the three would even know one part of my job, let alone all the things that I am qualified to do.

Truthfully, I decided after that meeting that it was time to start looking around. I started working part time as a patient rep at the local hospital, and managed to work that into a full time, high paid job before the County was even aware that I had other employment. So I got to drop the bomb on them instead of the other way around. And the funny part is, they still don't have any one person who could do it all like I was trained to do, but I will always figure it was their loss!

The sound of the wild, but if there is no one there, does anyone hear their howls?

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BrokenHearted

Posts: 142

Posted: 04:24PM May 21, 2011

I'm pretty sure I failed my final. and if I did, that probably means my parents will kill me. I decided that I shouldn't worry about it too much (I tried to study, but I have the attention span of a goldfish) and that finals shouldn't rule my life. Of course, I want to get into a good university, and I do have a lot of will, but I just don't feel the need to do my very best. My final isn't worth as much as a normal test (50% less) but my friend got a C on part one and a D on part two, landing her with an 87.5% in the class. I've had straight A's my entire life, and of course I don't want to tarnish it, but grades aren't everything. Am I right?

Also, a girl in my class (Lindsey), who is a year younger than the rest of us because she skipped a grade. It's incredibly obnoxious when she gets to brag about getting 100% on both parts of the test.

Also, she thinks she has the best voice in the world and is incredibly arrogant just because she was picked for a very advance choir (the best student singers in Liverpool) and gets all of the solos. All of the teachers love her, even though she has the loudest voice and thinks she's the best at everything. Also, she idolizes one of the meanest girls in the school (who insults me on a regular basis) and I have no clue why. She doesn't have any redeeming qualities, it seems. What's so great about someone who is just plain rude?

Also, I woke up feeling sick. I had to go to two graduation parties, forcing down a scone at the first one and not feeling well enough to eat anything at the second one. I also feel dizzy whenever I stand (which happened the last time I was sick) and I don't know what to do. We're out of headache medicine. The last time this happened, I could do nothing but wait until the sickness is over. I'm hungry, but food sounds disgusting. Ugh.

Also, my older brother decided last night to get on my computer (I bought it for quite a fair amount of money) and I happen to have things on it that I don't want him to see. He pressed the power button and then pressed it again, thus making it go to sleep. It did go to sleep, but when I pressed the power button again, it refused to let me go to the log-in screen. I also didn't know how to turn it off, so I decided to wait until the battery died. It took until early this morning. When I tried to turn it on again, it still wouldn't let me onto the log-in page. So, finally, later this morning, it finally allowed me on.

It took me about 17 hours to make it work. Great brother, I know.

I have one and a half days of school left. I need some prayer that I will finish strong and hopefully I didn't fail my final. Thanks. =]

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GreenApples27

Posts: 385

Posted: 05:25PM May 21, 2011

I've never actually posted in here, but something happened at my house early yesterday morning that I thought you might want to hear!

It started at 3AM on Saturday morning. I was sleeping in the spare bed in my James' (my twin) room since my grandma was up, and was sleeping in my bed. I woke up to these intense shoutings and arguments coming from the street, but quite close. I'm used to waking up in the wee hours, since there tends to be a few street fights around my house/street, since there are a couple of student flats near my house. But this was the most intense argument that I had heard. My twin and I woke up at exactly the same time, and we both rolled our eyes because this arguing had woken us up. But then it turned sour, and one woman just started crying out for help, saying "HEEELP! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME! HEEEELP". That's when James and I really woke up...

I heard my mum dart out the door to see what was going on, and to offer help. When she got outside I heard her say "Oh my god... PUT THAT DOWN! WHO'S CAR IS THIS?!?!". I was really confused at that stage. Then my Mum started screaming, and started yelling for my Dad to come out. My older brother Josh also came running downstairs, grabbed a cricket bat, and ran outside. So James and I were really confused and worried, so we decided to put on clothes and run outside as well.

When we got outside, we were met with the most weird scene. A car had crashed through our fence, into our driveway and crashed into our garden. The car was smoking, but everyone had got out unhurt. Then there was a second car who had parked outside our property, where three men had got out, armed with hammers, and were trying to hit a man and woman (the one screaming for help) who were two passengers of the crashed car. The driver of the crashed car had already fled the scene. When the three men with hammers saw my Dad and brother, both armed (with cricket bats

) they got in their white car and drove off. We were quite shocked to see that a car had crashed through our fence and into our garden. Thank god it missed the massive tree in our garden, and luckily for my dad, it just missed his Range Rover.

Anyway, this was only the beginning. It was now about 3:10AM, and the man and woman started telling us what happened. They seemed a little... drunk or on drugs... but this is what they said happened: They apparently hitched a free ride home with this random person in a black car, and when they were in the car, a white car (holding the three men with hammers) pulled up behind them and started throwing bottles at them. The black car tried to get away from them, but the white car forced them off the road and into our fence and property.

While the man and woman were telling us what happened, we heard a "fssssst... BOOM" and we turned around and the bonnet of the car had blown up, and there were massive flames on the car... it had caught on fire!

So my family, a couple who had come out of their house, and the man and woman all walked to the other side of the road, while my dad tried to put it out with a garden hose. It was unsuccessful. My mum called the fire brigade and police. When the man and woman who were in the crashed car found out we had called the police, they mysteriously left the scene... so something dodgy was going on.

Anyway, so the flames were getting bigger and bigger, and we were all really scared it was going to blow up, which would damage our house, and worse maybe hurt someone. It took about 15 minutes for the fire engines to come. Two fire engines and two police cars and a tow truck came, and they put out the fire, towed out the car from our garden, and bid us farewell.

So yeah, it took about an hour from when we ran outside to when we got back into bed. But it was pretty surreal.

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snappytom

Posts: 4351

Posted: 09:15PM May 21, 2011

Wow...sounds like a scene from a movie!
You all OK?

Snappy Snappy Snap..Snap Snap Snap Snap!

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GreenApples27

Posts: 385

Posted: 10:06PM May 21, 2011

I know!