True love?? :)
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charlottes-odd 
Posts: 183
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 Posted: 10:53PM May 15, 2012 |
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Ok so this is slightly random but does anyone believe in true love or love at first sight? Recently met a guy and he makes me feel amazing  he's nothing like the boys i've been with before who were horrible to me and we've both told each other how we feel about one another  we're not together yet but we both said we will get together soon because we feel so strongly about each other we're just going to meet up first it's obvious by reading this how i feel about true love, i believe in it and i think this guy may be the one
So does anyone else believe in true love or love at first sight?
And sorry if i sound all silly and soppy... I'm all mushy inside at the moment 
Heartbreak is where creativity is born |
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shawneeo 
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Posted: 07:25PM May 17, 2012 |
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awww... well of course you should meet up, asap. I have fallen in love with someone online before, but it never lasted until we could meet in person. Not saying it's not a good way to meet, just that meeting in person would probably have been very different... but it's best to find out right away!
Anyway I totally do believe that Love exists and I have fallen in love at first sight, in RL, so I know it can happen. The time I fell in love at first sight it lasted for years, and only ended because we moved apart for our careers and lost contact after several years.
Life... can be so many things... how can anyone ever think they are RIGHT? HAhahahahahahaha!!!!! |
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Shadows 
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Posted: 01:32AM May 19, 2012 |
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I believe love takes time, but there certainly exist people whom one is automatically attracted to, even if there is no apparent reason.
"Time's rushing by me like the wind / Gotta grab each moment that I can / 'Cause I'm never gonna feel like this again" |
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locked_in_hell
Posts: 6013
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Posted: 05:39PM May 24, 2012 |
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I wouldn't call that love. It's more like infatuation.
-->* I shall follow the moon in the darkest of the night* |
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Smithy
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Posted: 08:07PM May 24, 2012 |
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"Love at first sight" is kind of a contradiction in terms. Logically, it can't exist. But who wants to think logically about love?
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ka-ching
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Posted: 11:13AM May 25, 2012 |
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Love is a choice.
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Smithy
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Posted: 12:12PM May 25, 2012 |
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Show your working.
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Psychic_Master 
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Posted: 03:52AM May 29, 2012 |
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charlottes-odd wrote: So does anyone else believe in true love or love at first sight?
I would agree with Smithy in that love at first sight doesn't really exist, depending on your definition of love. Having "fallen" for a couple of girls in my day, and being adamant at the time that I was in love with them, I can now in retrospect see that it was certainly more of an infatuation than anything else. It can sometimes be hard to differentiate strong feelings of attachment to true love. But then again, what is true love? The whole concept seems so hopelessly subjective and there seems to lack a universal definition for it.
Personally, I'm of the belief that love is more of an affection for someone which grows over time. It's why people generally take quite a long time before saying that they love each other. It's kind of a big deal. A very strong attachment which I believe can only really come with time.
What I also find interesting is the divide between platonic and romantic love. Having strengthened quite a few close friendships in the four or so years I've been living in this city, my friends and I quite often tell each other that we love one another. But then I recently started dating one of them and that... exchange hasn't ceased. We're now in this strange grey area where "I love you" means something in between the two commonly accepted definitions. Which leads me to ponder what the actual distinction is between the two. Is romantic love merely platonic love with those... extra benefits? Or is there something extra that I'm far too young to understand just yet? Because at the moment, it seems to me that at the basis of both of the terms is a... more or less complete acceptance of the other person. With all their faults and shortcomings, you are able to look past that and embrace their entire being and every facet of it. I don't know, just throwing around some thoughts in case anyone feels like adding to it.
---This message was edited on 03:57AM May 29, 2012---
"Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do." |
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ka-ching
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Posted: 09:40AM May 29, 2012 |
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Since you demand it, Smithy.
Real, lasting love is shown in commitment. If true love is unconditional, it doesn't depend on anything. Not the other person, the circumstances, or even my own feelings. Love is a statement, a devotion, a perseverance from one person to another. Hence a choice. Feelings, however beautiful they are, are a secondary factor - although it's very very easy for me to forget that.
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4demo
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Posted: 04:07PM May 29, 2012 |
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Sorry to play Devil's Advocate in my first post in a long time, ka-ching, but I'm not sure I understand your definition. The first obvious confusion was that you seem to be saying love is not a feeling; are you saying, then, that it's completely devoid of any personal emotional connection and it's only a "choice" (granted, a long-lasting, important, and special one, but still stripped of emotional meaning)?
I'm also drawing a blank on how it's both a choice and unconditional; aside from the obvious principle that you choose to partake in the act of giving unconditional love, doesn't one preclude the other by your definition? I've always considered that you make choices based on your feelings about something or someone, but if love is completely unconditional and depends on nothing, what is the choice based on? Sorry if I'm missing something obvious.  Thanks in advance for clarifying!
"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however." - Richard Bach |
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ka-ching
Posts: 674
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Posted: 08:26PM May 29, 2012 |
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Devoid of feeling, no, absolutely not; but feeling should be secondary. And of course, love can only be unconditional after the choice to love has been made. To make choices based on feelings is very very often an unwise and unstable course, especially for people like me whose emotions sway somewhat easily. All humans are like that. The choice is ideally based on a principle or a standing relationship or a cooperation, if you will. I don't mean to sound completely heartless. Trust me, I'm one of the most emotional people you'll ever meet. But I also know better than to base my decisions on something I just feel.
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shawneeo
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Posted: 06:32PM May 30, 2012 |
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I've read books where they wrote of a similar definition of love: that it's a choice and not about feeling. I guess though it depends on what one means by "love".
Obviously "love" isn't just one thing... just look at all the various opinions here.
I often think about: like, with my parents... I often did not feel love for them at a certain stage of my life, but we had a connection that persevered. It almost seems like THAT connection is stronger and deeper than the feeling of love, but is it "love", or is it biology, or both? Because with family and long-term relationships like committed marriages, there may not often be the feeling of love, but there's , again, a stronger connection than that feeling.
But I can't imagine growing into that deep commitment with another, as in marriage, without feeling Love at the beginning... otherwise why would I be with them? And I have known that feeling, and I still call it Love, I just don't know what to call the stronger/deeper connection. Maybe they are all degrees or types of love. OR, love is just a type or degree of Connection, or Bond.
Life... can be so many things... how can anyone ever think they are RIGHT? HAhahahahahahaha!!!!! |
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Smithy
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Posted: 08:25PM May 30, 2012 |
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In my own experience, people realise they're in love, as opposed to deciding that they will be in love.
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LogicalRoger
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Posted: 03:41AM May 31, 2012 |
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Well good luck, OP, whether true love exists or not. I personally don't believe in any star-crossed pairing intertwined by a red string of fate, but I do believe that whatever kind of love endures and is mutually beneficial is the only love that matters. I would agree that love at first sight is a mere infatuation, but even that small first step can and has often grown with knowledge and experience to a wonderful maturity. Ah, but I know nothing and, alas, wiser words have already been spoken in this topic alone. Love is a bloody mystery. Yet may its mad ways flow on to drive many more mad here after.
Good luck with it. I see the original post was a tad while ago, but hopefully all will be good. I guess I'm just eager to make celebratory ASCII art for any such occasion. *~^
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Shadows
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Posted: 11:37PM May 31, 2012 |
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What you said about platonic vs. romantic love is rather interesting, PM. Lately (by which I mean "for the past year"), I've been having some trouble figuring out exactly how I feel about one of my friends. I love him very much, and I tell him so, but the meaning of the words seems to fluctuate between the two. And when we're together, sometimes we act like the great friends we are, but there are also times when we say and do things that are... on the edge of what is typical in a friendship. Is there perhaps a middle ground?
"Time's rushing by me like the wind / Gotta grab each moment that I can / 'Cause I'm never gonna feel like this again" |
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shawneeo
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Posted: 06:48PM Jun 3, 2012 |
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Well, I don't know, but if you have both romantic and platonic love, I'd say you're blessed and to realize that! I mean, how many times have we all broken up with a romantic love but claimed we would "remain friends", or "still be friends"? And how many times has that actually happened?
Not to say that this means you'll never break up... but, it seems like a good thing to me that you have romance AND friendship... I mean, that's what people always say relationships need: you have to be "in love" but also be "best friends".
I hope your love grows.
I loved the spirit of Logical's post! Haha! That's how those romantic poets would always talk of love... and really, we don't have nearly enough of it these days.
Life... can be so many things... how can anyone ever think they are RIGHT? HAhahahahahahaha!!!!! |
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vlerma
Grayma V
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Posted: 11:35PM Jun 5, 2012 |
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Am I the only one who read Charlotte'sOdd's statement that they plan to meet up soon. Is this someone she has met on line, and really does not know who she is getting involved with? Come on people we have more of a problem to solve than how to determine love at first sight. First sight is eye to eye contact, but this does not seem to be the case here.
CREEPER ALERT! Don't encourage anyone to meet someone else. We talk all the time about keeping our younger people safe! And if I am wrong about the way I read this, I'm sorry. I was sort of going by Shawn's remark about, by all means meet up ASAP.
The sound of the wild, but if there is no one there, does anyone hear their howls? |
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LogicalRoger
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Posted: 09:56PM Jun 6, 2012 |
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Well, only OP would know for sure what she meant, but the first time I read her post I didn't think she was meeting someone she had met online. I can see how it could be that, but based on the language alone, it doesn't have to be. I read "we're not together yet" as in relationship terms rather than physical, and "meet up first" as referring to a more formal meeting, like a date, than usual. I could be totally off, but that's how I saw it first.
Either way, I have nothing against OP meeting someone online as long as she makes sure to play it safe: do it in a public place where she can get help if anything happens and let someone know where she will be just in case. As creepy and horrible as people can be, there's always the possibility that those who seem nice online are actually nice. You still have to be cautious but I wouldn't let fear get in the way of love, if it is actual mutual love.
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HarryPutter
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Posted: 03:25AM Jun 7, 2012 |
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Well she hasn't been on in 22 days...  We could be too late to warn her
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vlerma
Grayma V
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Posted: 11:18AM Jun 7, 2012 |
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Well guys, Roger you have some very good, and of course logical, points. I am certainly hoping nothing is standing in the way of true love, but Harry I hope your thoughts aren't the case. CO, please let us know you are ok.
The sound of the wild, but if there is no one there, does anyone hear their howls? |
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