Brain Teasers
Brain Teasers Trivia Mentalrobics Games Community
Personal Links
Your Friends
Your Watchlist
Public Forums
Games
Writing Teasers
Teaser Answers
Ask a Question
The Human Mind
Trivia and Quizzes
New? Start Here!

General Discussion
Entertainment
Sports
Current Events

Announcements
Bugs & Requests

Subscribers
High Scorers
Moderators
High Karma
Debate
Grownups
More Community
Newsgroups
Wiki
Teaser Comments
Trivia Comments

User Rankings
Search for User
Add to Google delicious Add to del.icio.us

More ways to get Braingle...
rss

Braingle Time
2:00 am

Public Forums >> Writing Teasers >>


Forum Rules View Watchlist Post Reply


Skip to Page:  1   2      Next

Rejected Rebus

AuthorMessage
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 10:04AM Sep 18, 2013

I thought I had come up with an excellent rebus, but was disappointed when it was rejected overwhelmingly (0 accept; 5 reject). I thought I would post it here, along with an explanation, the reasons given for rejection, and a rebuttal to those reasons (because there is not really another venue for rebuttal that I know of). Also, I will include a modified version that might be more appealing.

The rebus, as submitted:

birth
{
terrible stuff is in captivity,
bad stuff is expensive,
mediocre stuff is busy,
good stuff is set aside for paying bills,
but excellent stuff is not any of those things
}
death

Answer: The best things in life are free.

Explanation: The brackets are shown to include everything between "birth" and "death" -- that is "life." Anything in the brackets is "in life." The things within life have been categorized by quality. A statement is made about each quality level. Each of the quality levels less than "excellent" is stated as being the opposite of the word "free," but each one opposes different definitions of "free" for a creative twist. If you are in captivity, you are not "free." If something is expensive, it is not "free." If you are busy, you are not "free" to do other things. If money is set aside for paying bills, it is not "free" to be spent on less important things. The "excellent" level is stated as being "not any of those things"; therefore, "free." I avoided using any of the significant words from the answer within the rebus itself. It may be elaborate and take a lot of outside-the-box thinking to get, but I thought it was a really fun one.

Reasons for rejection: This does not work as presented as the things stated and the words used to categorize them don't really work. Also, some things are expensive but are considered to be some of the best things in life.

Rebuttal: I know that the statements are not actually "true" statements. But since when do statements in rebuses have to be true? You just say whatever you have to say to lead the reader to the answer. There are frequently wild, nonsensical statements in rebuses. To say that the statements aren't true and that the rebus is therefore not valid, is akin to saying that "MOMANON" is not a valid rebus for "man in the moon" because "MOMANON" is not a real word. Rebuses are inherently abstract.
And certainly, many of the best and most important things in life are in fact expensive. But the SAYING itself states that the "best things in life are free." That is why the statements in the rebus indicate that. Common phrases are often false, and/or exaggerations of the truth. But the rebus' entire goal is to re-state the saying in different words, or diagrams, even if the saying is not 100% accurate.

Potential modifications:
One thing I don't like about it is how improper the word "stuff" sounds. But that was part of avoiding the word "things," because "things" is in the answer. I could change all the stuff is's to things are's. This would make it sound better, but also make it a little more transparent.

Here's an example that is even more creative and obscures the answer even more:

birth
{
0% QUALITY
(1) is in captivity,
(2) is expensive,
(3) is busy,
(4) is set aside for paying bills,
.....
(n-2) is out of captivity
(n-1) costs nothing
(n) is available
100% QUALITY
}
death

Any thoughts?


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 10:08AM Sep 18, 2013

It just seems like half the rebuses that get accepted would be more along the lines of:

li best things fe = free

It's like, okay yes, that is fun too, but it is so simple and obvious when it uses the EXACT words from the answer.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
AwwwSweet

Posts: 217

new Posted: 11:10AM Sep 18, 2013

First, let me mention that I did not vote on this, so I am offering my opinion as of reading it today. Second, I want to complement you on using different meanings of the word "free". I think that was a nice play and fun twist on the typical meaning of "free" in the answer.

However, "excellent" is not the same thing as "best". I think a different word or phrase needed to be used, such as "top of the line", "perfect", "unsurpassed", "finest", etc.

The rework of the rebus is all right, though I do prefer the original and just think it should be a little clearer. I also think using a word like "item" instead of "stuff" might be preferable.

A quick note on your last post... yes, a lot of old teasers look like "li best things fe = free", which is why the submission guidelines specifically state they are no longer allowed. Kudos to you for making sure yours was different.


---This message was edited on 11:12AM Sep 18, 2013---

"The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." - Anais Nin
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM    
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 11:31AM Sep 18, 2013

Thanks for your input And that's true, excellent is not the best; I like the "perfect"/"unsurpassed" idea. I'm thinking about altering it and re-submitting it, but they take so long to be reviewed and I can only submit 2 at a time, so I'm afraid it might block up my submission slot for another x-many days just to be rejected again. I'll put it on the backburner for now and submit other things! Thanks again for your input, and glad to know that it wasn't complete garbage or anything...I mean when it's 0-5, it makes it seem like, WOW, epic fail.

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
AwwwSweet

Posts: 217

new Posted: 11:37AM Sep 18, 2013

Well, hopefully some of the people who did reject it can voice their opinions too so you can feel confident the next time you submit it!

"The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." - Anais Nin
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM    
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 01:40PM Sep 19, 2013

Now my second rebus submission is at 0-2.. -_- The creative beauty and solid logic in my rebuses seems to go unappreciated.

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 01:09PM Sep 21, 2013

Aww, come on, now we're at 0-4. I swear this one is pure gold I don't know what they could possibly say about it...

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 12:29PM Sep 25, 2013

Okay, I don't really understand the rejection reasoning. Are they not understanding the rebus? Or am I missing something? It seems solid to me. The "x" remains the same object. This rebus represents the movement of one man owning an object, declaring it trash, and throwing it in the trash "can." Another man sees this action, and considering the same object to be valuable, removes it from the "can" and stores it in a treasure "chest." I think I may just be going way over everyone's heads... Any suggestions?

Category: Rebus

Body:
Man(x) Can Man Chest
Man Can(x) Man Chest
Man Can Man(x) Chest
Man Can Man Chest(x)

Hint: The (x) represents any object being moved from one place to another.

Answer: One man's trash is another man's treasure.

Reasons for Rejection: Trash and treasure are not clearly represented. The "x" does not clearly show that it refers to both "trash" and "treasure" and the body doesn't support the answer.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
AwwwSweet

Posts: 217

new Posted: 02:31PM Sep 25, 2013

Well, I like the concept and it doesn't appear to be a duplicate, but I do think this one needs to be modified. (X) does not really represent trash or treasure. You might get away with (X) if you clarified the can and chest. As it is now, you could be referring to a soup can or some guy's hairy chest.

If you are trying to stay away from using the actual words "trash" and "treasure", maybe you could use garbage can or refuse pile for the first option, then strongbox or bank vault for the second. I have to admit I'm not personally sure how I would word it, so maybe someone else can jump in and provide a suggestion.


"The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." - Anais Nin
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM    
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 02:42PM Sep 25, 2013

I suppose, but I like how cryptic it is in its current state. And to me, personally, "x" works. It doesn't matter what the object is. What if it IS a soup can or some guy's hairy chest? So long as there's a person out there who thinks it is junk, and another person to whom it has worth, then "one man's trash is another man's treasure." Any more clear and it becomes too overt to be a good rebus.

Man(old vase), Garbage Can, Man, Vault
Man, Garbage Can(old vase), Man, Vault
Man, Garbage Can, Man(old vase), Vault
Man, Garbage Can, Man, Vault(old vase)

Here, we have an old vase, which is considered old and junky by one man, thrown away, and picked up by another man who knows it is a valuable antique.

But now it is really stupid. Forget this teaser. I'll keep it in MY file of rebuses and leave it off of the internet.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
AwwwSweet

Posts: 217

new Posted: 03:24PM Sep 25, 2013

LOL - I wasn't saying (X) was the soup can. The "can" and "chest" were not enough to signify the value of (X) to either man, so I think if you renamed "can" to Garbage Can and "chest" to Vault then (X) may still work. But if you think that kills it, that's fine.

---This message was edited on 03:24PM Sep 25, 2013---

"The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." - Anais Nin
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM    
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 03:53PM Sep 25, 2013

Ohh sorry lol! I misunderstood.

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 03:55PM Sep 25, 2013

That explanation makes "man's hairy chest" make more sense! xD I was kind of like, "where did that come from?"

But yeah I suppose clarifying what kind of can and what kind of chest would help, without making it too obvious.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
Smithy*en

Posts: 987

new Posted: 05:28AM Sep 26, 2013

As Sweet said, the main problem for me was that "Can(x)" was not representative of "trash" (especially as "trash can" is not really a term used in the UK). "Chest" is a little less ambiguous but still open to (mis)interpretation.

"They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?" "No man, they got the metric system. The wouldn't know what a Quarter Pounder is."
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 02:33PM Sep 26, 2013

I understand, it does make sense. I guess sometimes I kind of like making them more cryptic than necessary. I mean that's the whole point of a lot of teasers right, you have to unravel them and figure out what everything means connotatively? But I suppose rebuses should be more literal. Rejection accepted (ironically).

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
AwwwSweet

Posts: 217

new Posted: 06:14PM Sep 26, 2013

I do think you are creative and have great ideas, so keep it up!

"The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." - Anais Nin
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM    
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 07:03PM Sep 26, 2013

What do you think of this one? Based on the two mentioned in this thread, I'm sure this one would fail EPICALLY.

ADDRESS / RESIDENT(S)
2401 Arbor Rd. / Paul Stevens
2403 Arbor Rd. / Jim Parker, Marilyn Parker, Jessica Parker
2405 Arbor Rd. / Joseph Pumpernickel
2407 Arbor Rd. / Frank Emerson, Beth Emerson
2409 Arbor Rd. / Kayla Torres
2411 Arbor Rd. / Gregory Lancaster


See if you can figure it out xD

Edit: And thank you


---This message was edited on 07:04PM Sep 26, 2013---

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
fishmedAusmod

Papa Fish
Posts: 2111


new Posted: 10:10PM Sep 26, 2013

I also noted that the (x) did not to me seem to be able to represent trash and treasure at the same time.

The other one just confused me so much that I did not see how it was able to convey what you were saying. Now I see more about how there were different definitions of free and it makes more sense. Maybe with a little tweaking it might work.

As to the other part about not sure where to air your concerns and/or get further input on the whys regarding a rejection, I, as well as other editors, would be more than happy to receive PMs with questions, samples, and/or concerns about where one may be in the process and/or what might be the chances of an intended offering.

All I can say is keep trying and you will get in more more as time progresses. To this day, I still get many rejected, but I keep trying.


I wish I could sleep... but my mind starts to wander, and well, basically, one sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm... HEEEY Macarena!!!
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6877


new Posted: 04:08AM Sep 27, 2013

Thanks fishmed. Yeah it's just frustrating at first I guess, cause you think you've got gold, then it gets rejected, yet you have to wait weeks to get it all the way rejected, and you don't even know who's rejecting it, or have any way to discuss it. So thank you, I may be PM'ing some of you for advice in the future

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki
fishmedAusmod

Papa Fish
Posts: 2111


new Posted: 03:50PM Sep 27, 2013

And just so you know, when it takes longer, it means, in many cases, that the editors are discussing merits, concerns and/or ways to 'fix' a teaser that has some issues. This what can make things take longer some times. Plus we are not always versed in every topic, so sometimes research is required. Also, sometimes it takes a while to solve a teaser to make sure it works. All in all, we want to try to get things out as quickly as possible. Maybe if Jake doubled our pay, we might get more done, sooner...

As I said, keep trying. It took me quite some time, and still does on many occasions to get something approved. You'll get it. I look forward to seeing your submissions.


I wish I could sleep... but my mind starts to wander, and well, basically, one sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm... HEEEY Macarena!!!
Back to Top View Profile     Send PM     Visit Wiki

Skip to Page:  1   2      Next  



Public Forums >> Writing Teasers >>


! Access Restricted

You'll need to create an account and sign in before you can post messages.






Users in Chat : Lex624, sciencesteven 

Online Now: 11 users and 457 guests

Copyright © 1999-2014 | Updates | FAQ | RSS | Widgets | Links | Green | Subscribe | Contact | Privacy | Conditions | Advertise

Custom Search





Sign In A Create a free account