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How well do you know these funny quotes by Emo Phillips?
#1 Fill in the blank: "A ____ once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
#2 Fill in the blank: "At my _____ stand, I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
#3 Fill in the blank: "How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my _____."
#4 Fill in the blank: "I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any _____ under any of them."
#5 Fill in the blank: "When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked Him to _____ me."
#6 Fill in the blank: "People __________ and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'"
Look at me
Come up to me
#7 Fill in the blank: "When I was six, my family __________, but fortunately I was able to track them down."
Moved to a new city
Painted the house
#8 Finish this quote: "What is eternity? You're on the checkout line at a supermarket. There are seven people in front of you. They are all old. They all have two carts and coupons for every item. They are all paying by check. None of them have ID..."
... It's the checkout girl's first day on the job. She doesn't speak any English. Take away fifteen minutes from that, and you begin to get an idea of what eternity is.
... The cash register is jammed. Nobody knows how to fix it. Add an hour to that and you begin to get an idea of what eternity is.
... The lady in front you forgot to take her pills. She leans up against the magazine rack and starts to fall asleep. Take away thirty minutes from that, and you begin to get an idea of what eternity is.
#9 Emo Phillips was born in Illinois.
#10 What is Emo Phillips's birth name?
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