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Dumb Ways to Die

AuthorMessage
eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 04:02PM Feb 1, 2014

You've modified the salmon to double as a machine gun, just in case.

Sort your molecules into alphabetical order, completely destroying all of your organs and body as a whole.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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MDCTeaserscus

Posts: 1897

new Posted: 10:05PM Feb 1, 2014

Molecules don't have letters.

Forget to post a new way to live on this thread.


Please join my Pokemon WWG! It's going to be awesome!
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 10:10PM Feb 1, 2014

(but they do have names given to them by humans, which could be sorted alphabetically, which is what I intended)

Forget to post a way to die as well, therefore not needing a way to live.

Lock yourself inside your car and starve.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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MDCTeaserscus

Posts: 1897

new Posted: 10:17PM Feb 1, 2014

Remember that you have the keys.

Please join my Pokemon WWG! It's going to be awesome!
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 09:14AM Feb 2, 2014

Do nothing, as nothing threatens your life at this moment.

Try to eat a live shark.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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MDCTeaserscus

Posts: 1897

new Posted: 11:48AM Feb 2, 2014

Have it eat you and vomit you up.
Sorry, my parents were yelling at me to eat dinner.
Get shrunken down to a speck of a quark and starve.


Please join my Pokemon WWG! It's going to be awesome!
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 11:59AM Feb 2, 2014

Don't actually starve, because subatomic particles don't require food.

Get locked in a walk-in freezer like in every old sitcom ever.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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MDCTeaserscus

Posts: 1897

new Posted: 12:18PM Feb 2, 2014

Realize it's off and full of food.

Fall into a time portal and get ripped apart when you land in a tornado.


Please join my Pokemon WWG! It's going to be awesome!
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 12:30PM Feb 2, 2014

Easy: Always carry an aerosol can of McDonnigan's Tornado Repellent when you approach time portals.

Try making toast in the bath tub and, well... you know the rest.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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MDCTeaserscus

Posts: 1897

new Posted: 12:33PM Feb 2, 2014

Realize the bathtub is dry.

Get crushed.


Please join my Pokemon WWG! It's going to be awesome!
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 12:37PM Feb 2, 2014

Crush the crusher.

Forget to crush the crusher when you're getting crushed.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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MDCTeaserscus

Posts: 1897

new Posted: 12:40PM Feb 2, 2014

The crusher decides to crush itself.

Get eaten.


Please join my Pokemon WWG! It's going to be awesome!
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 04:48PM Feb 2, 2014

Eat the eater.

Forget to eat the eater when you're getting eaten.


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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MDCTeaserscus

Posts: 1897

new Posted: 06:05PM Feb 2, 2014

Remember to do everything to not die.
(Well, what could I do after you did that twice? )

Get sucked into a computer program that kills you repeatedly.


Please join my Pokemon WWG! It's going to be awesome!
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 04:16AM Feb 3, 2014

Hack it and reprogram it to do your laundry.

Go to Seattle when the epic West Coast earthquake destroys it soon.


---This message was edited on 04:17AM Feb 3, 2014---

The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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SaraGracetus

Posts: 485

new Posted: 10:13PM Feb 3, 2014

Hide out in a basement where you live the rest of your life.

Jump into a pool of carnivorous potatoes.


"I am on a roller coaster that only goes up my friends." -Augustus Water (TFIOS)
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 04:22AM Feb 4, 2014

Cut them up, fry them up, and eat them.



The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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extremebluenesscus

Posts: 291

new Posted: 07:17AM Feb 4, 2014

Realize that you're not a monkey.

Get trapped in an inescapable room which has no food or drink.


"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:2
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eighsseAus

King Eighsse
Posts: 6822


new Posted: 02:02PM Feb 4, 2014

Destroy the room. Destroying it is not escaping it, but causing it to no longer exist as a "room." Then you can walk away without "escaping" it.

Die of shock at the fact that I just bought 30 pounds of Stouffer's macaroni and cheese (it's on a really good sale though!).


The first is the only to ever have been the only.
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SilverWitch*us

Posts: 1647

new Posted: 06:00PM Feb 4, 2014

Realize it's not a big deal because I love hoarding too.

Die of shock when your credit card bill comes in and you realize your relative has been overspending with it.


The world is not beautiful, and that, in a way, lends it a sort of beauty.
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