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Clubbed Into Submission

Mystery teasers are little stories where you need to figure out what happened based on the given clues.


Puzzle ID:#27752
Fun:** (2.1)
Difficulty:*** (2.67)
Submitted By:norcekrius****
Corrected By:MarcM1098




Nora sat on the clubhouse verandah ("Aspirate the final 'h', deah; it shows you pay attention") of the Uppity Pines Golf Club, nursing an honest-to-goodness mint julep. If she'd known how potent the things were, she never would have ordered a second one. She blamed it on the cute little mint leaves. Still, she had only a light "buzz" as the final group came to the 18th green, greeted by a round of applause from some 200 spectators, all of whom appeared to shop at the same sporting goods store.
As Nora felt she was recovering full use of her faculties, a roar went up from the green. She saw a shiny putter raised high into the air. It had a funny shape, but she remembered that there were some unusual styles of clubs available these days. Looking at those around her, Nora concluded that the golfers could afford just about anything their whims suggested. She imagined the crowd as flows of money and influence; the concept meshed well with mint julep.
"It appeahs to be ovah, deah." Ellie Law's large, blue eyes gently called Nora back to the mundane world. "Ah did not not recognahz that putter in the ai-uh as Hiram's, so ah surmahz that Mistuh Greens has carried the day." Nora was finally interpreting the accent of northern South Carolina as easily as she had learned the clipped English of her cousins in the UK. Hi handled the publication contracts for Nora's adventures; she had been their house guest for a week of genteel vacation. She was also beginning to feel accepted by their acquaintances, rather than merely tolerated. Ellie normally would have been at the 18th green for moral support, but her arches were giving out again.

Sure enough, careful inspection revealed that the congratulatory mayhem's epicenter was Rex Greens, the oft-abrasive auto magnate. A smaller knot of support surrounded Mr. Law. The two had started the day tied for the lead, and played even through 17 holes while gaining a second stroke on the competition.
"It appears that you're correct, Ellie, bless his heart." Nora had learned that social signal on the second day, a softer version of the "smiley face" used in email. "How are your feet?"
" Ah can sustain ten minutes, Ah am suah. It's the leahst a wife can do." She rose gracefully, noted Nora doing likewise. This once, Ellie walked ahead of her guest, providing her husband a hero's welcome.

"Well played, deah! I'm so proud of you!"
"Thank you, Ellie. It's so kind of you to meet me out heah. How ah youh ahches?"
"Bettah, deah, thank you foah asking. How ah youhs? You've walked seven thousahnd yahds foah days in a roah."
"Well enough, thahnk you. Let's go to the ball room. You must see Rex's winning putt!"

The recap was Nora's favorite part. Although Ellie described it much more tactfully, it seemed that two geeky college-age scions of club staff had spent the entire day editing digital video clips as they became available. They started with the final putt, a beautifully-read stroke that travelled no less than thirty-eight feet from putter head to the cup. The look on Rex's face was the exuberance of success and pride in domination.
Nora sat through the entire show, twenty-five minutes of good golf, recovery, excuses for the muffed shots and missed chances, and the occasional friendly dig at Hi, which he took with smiling aplomb. Rex proudly gave his caddy credit for excellent club selection: the driver and 4-wood to the first green for a birdie, the 3-wood off the 7th tee, and a tricky 5-wood shot from the edge of the creek on 13. He rambled across the fairways, pulling a nice 2-iron recovery from beside a tree root on 6, a cut-and-run 3-iron on 8, a 9-iron from the fringe of the 10th green that nearly dropped for an eagle, and various uses of irons 4 through 8 on other holes. Nice recoveries with his sand wedge saved par on 7 and scrambled for only a single bogey on 12.
"I think he used everything in that bag at least three times today," Hi remarked. "You doahn't often meet a golfah that selective, and so cahrrect."
"Why two putters?" Nora queried, "The winning one is an unusual shape."
"One foah short putts, one foah long. The bent-shaft club gives Rex moah accurahcy, even though it weighs enough to roast a small hog." Nora smiled at the image.
"Now, Rex will have to mention this incident ..." On the screen, Rex's image stood on the fairway, contemplating the freshening cross-wind for his approach shot. In the background, you could see a small cluster of leaves blow behind Rex and into the sand trap, where they nestled snugly against Hi's ball.
"I lost two strokes on that hoahl. Can't move the impediment in a trap; we use full PGA rules heah."
"You do?" Nora's eyebrows went up.
"Of coahse. Nothing but the most propah cahnduct and regulation foah our club championship."
"Really? How interesting." Nora's voice had suddenly reverted to her Yankee twang. "Hi, how promptly could you introduce me to the TD? Before Rex drops that 38-footer again? I think it's important."
Hi looked at her, recognizing his client rather than his house guest. "Whatever it is, I rahthah believe I should trust you -- without asking why."
Nora smiled. "If it's not too much trouble."
Fifteen minutes later, a shocked audience watched as Rex, red-faced, presented the large championship trophy to a stunned Hiram Law, accepting a share of 4th prize for himself.

What had Nora noticed that gave Hi Law the victory?

What Next?


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Dec 29, 2005

WOOOOO! Nice one! As usual! I kind of had an incling of the answer, as my Dad played golf all the time. But, I was stumped! Did not know the technicalities! Didn't count the words...
Dec 30, 2005

All of the extra h's kinda threw me off...nice teaser though
Jan 07, 2006

Great Sory!!!! Don't have a clue about golf, although I new it had something to do with PGA rules!!! Good job!!
Jan 07, 2006

I'm beginning to wonder just how many "accents" you have in your bag of tricks, norcekri!!!
Good job as usual!!
Jan 27, 2006

You spin a great yarn, but I don't know pute or putter about PGA rules.
Feb 03, 2006

wow! you are a great writer, you should write novels. alas, i am clueless when it comes to golf...but it was fun to read!
Feb 19, 2006

I guessed at it as soon as you mentioned two putters, having quickly scanned over the various clubs listed in the narrative. Good job.
Mar 01, 2006

Even as an occasional golfer, that was very easy. Writing style was competent.
Mar 07, 2006

Apr 19, 2006

too many words!
Apr 28, 2006

Entertaining, but the solution was kinda disappointing -- I got it, but it would seem to come down to whether you happen to know the club number rule or not. (Maybe better if all the clubs weren't listed in one paragraph but spread out, so the reader would be less likely to notice.)
May 29, 2006

Too long...I lost interest...sorry
Jun 01, 2006

These are very much akin to the Encyclopedia Brown stories. Forget the "too long" naysayers. You should be published.
Jun 03, 2006

kind of hard for me (doesn't play golf) to interpret what was goin on. oh well great job even if I didn't know what was up.
Jun 26, 2006

Ah kindah got bored wiff da long storay and accshhents...
Jun 29, 2006

This is more of a know-it-or-you-don't mystery. If you don't know PGA rules, then it's a lot harder to solve.
Aug 16, 2006

Couldn't even read it all and just saw the answer.
Jan 10, 2007

I don't play golf or watch it so needless to say, I didn't get the answer. I did enjoy reading the story though.
Jun 21, 2007

Wow it was really long.
Apr 17, 2008

If there was a little Emoticon throwing up, i'd use it 10 times.

Way too long and i don't play golf.
Aug 22, 2008

that was kind of a trivia teaser, but a fun read nevertheless
Oct 01, 2008

Shouldn't this technically be under the trivia category? Good story though, I had no clue.
Nov 20, 2008

I have no idea about golf, but I really enjoyed reading your teaser. It was an appropriate length, IMO.
Apr 28, 2010

Excellent storyline and the plot was good, but stories must be believable and factual. I had a problem with the PGA, present, commericals cameras, and television reporting not catching this error as it took place. Television is the truth of all sports and sporting events. His action should have been detected or captured on TV, Still, this was a good teaser, and well written.
May 19, 2010

Precious, please don't add plot elements that don't exist in the tale. As the story explains, this is a club championship -- one character even points out that they use full PGA rules. This would not be necessary if this were a PGA event.

The show afterwards was made of video clips edited in a back room of the club. There is no mention of television coverage.

Even then, can you cite a case in which the television people or the PGA officials caught and noted such a penalty? They do not generally consult commercial video for possible infractions. Rather, they will act on a notification from one of the players. However, there is no check for the number of clubs in the bag (as one pro discovered to his chagrin several years ago). As it is, most of these penalties are called to their attention by the player committing the infraction: pro golfers are notoriously scrupulous about their game.
Apr 04, 2011

That was a long one!! A very long teaser.

As for officials citing television references, there have been numerous times where people at home watching the round have called in to tell of an infringement. The officials checked the video coverage to confirm it and took action against the player.
Nov 08, 2012

Before even reading the teaser, I ad to read the comments to see how many ignorant people said it was too long.
It's not a book and a half, it's a few simple (or rather complex) paragraphs, that tell a story leading to an ultimate conclusion of a deep question. If you can't read 3 to 5 paragraphs you shouldn't be on a site to test your wit, and discipline.
Nov 09, 2012

Thanks for all the feedback. Since my last posting on this topic, I've had occasion to check on the PGA's use of outside sources. There certainly *are* enough incidents of TV viewers noting infractions, including one notable case of a leading player getting charged for moving the ball with his club as he addressed it.

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